I was having a conversation about guns with my friend Dirtbiker, because he’d just gone to a shooting range that day… And I like guns too. Then this RMP joined the lobby and started mocking me. Which was just priceless. He ended up on our team, too, so I was able to listen to him the whole time we were playing.
Dirtbiker = Friend
RMP = Random Male Player
Dirtbiker: Oh dude, I got a new sick Twitter picture.
Me: A what?
Dirtbiker: Me with the AR- I got a new sick Twitter picture. It’s me with the AR, like right up with the camera looking down the barrel kind of. Looks sick.
Me: Is this the first time you’ve ever been shooting? Or is this the first time you’ve been able to shoot fun shit?
Dirtbiker: Umm, I went to a shooting range before, but uh, it was another AR, but yeah never [unintelligible].
RMP1: [singing] I pooped in the trap, I pooped in the trap, pooped in the trap [Author's note: Yeah, I have no idea what's going on here. Or if that's really what he's saying.]
Me: In some of my wedding photos, we took one of my friend’s, like he built an assault rifle, so we, we grabbed that and-
RMP1: Hey Jenny!
RMP2: Hey! What’s up Jenny? I remember you. Remember, you were in my lobby a couple days ago?
RMP3: [mocking me] Oh my god, like I knew this person, and they had a gun-
RMP2: Remember Jenny? Jenny? [Author's note: No.]
RMPs 1 and 2 Jenny! Jennay! Jennay!
[audio drops out as game begins]
RMP3: [still mocking me] And it was like an assault rifle, because I know it.
RMP2: Jenny Haniver! Jenny Haniver.
The Husband: [faintly in the background] Wow.
Me: Are you listening to this? [laughing]
Dirtbiker: I’m listening.
Me: Anyway- no, I was talking to my husband. Anyway, we grabbed our friend’s assault rifle and um, I grabbed my shotty, and we did some wedding pictures like that. My photographers were like, well-
RMP3: [mocking] And I grabbed my shotty. And I grabbed my shotty, and then I grabbed my shotty, grabbed my shotty, then I grabbed my shotty… [this continues for about 30 seconds]
Dirtbiker: Is he still talking?