Nov 6th

I’m not really sure what to say about this one either, besides, grosssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

Dirtbiker, Play, Kamikaze = Friends

RMP = Random Male Player


Dirtbiker: You’re fuckin’ joking.

RMP1: Fucking bitch.

Dirtbiker: Are you shitting me right now?

RMP1: Hey, how do you guys get yellow clan tags?

Me: We’re a part of a clan. Like on Call of-

Play: You have to be 20. You have to be level 20.

Me: Oh really, you have to be a certain level?

RMP1: That’s STUPID.

Play: Yeah, you have to be a certain level, like 15, 20. Somethin’ like that.

 Me: The more you know. [G.I. JOEEEEEEEEEE]

RMP1: Dude, fuck all of you, okay? Shut the fuck up. All you guys are fuckin’ fags. You’re fuckin’ losers. You guys don’t know how to fuckin’… You guys can’t get a life, okay? That’s why you guys are on Call of Duty every fuckin’ day. I don’t even give a fuck about this game, you piece of shit.

Me: [barely restrained laughter] Wha, what?

RMP1: No, hold up- SHUT THE FUCK UP. No, hey, Jenny Haniver. Jenny. JENNY. Let me fuck you in your goddamn ass and rape the shit outta you.

Me: Wow. You are just the worst kind of person.

RMP1: Yeah. Hold up. Yes I am a rude person. I’m gonna pull your goddamn pants down, and start butt-fuckin’ you.


RMP1: Yeah, I’d bet you’d like that shit bitch. I’m gonna fuckin’ finger the shit out of your pussy ’til it bleeds.

Kamikaze: Wow, I shot that whole fuckin’ clip and nobody died.

Dirtbiker: How come…How come you’re only talking to her like that? What am I, a piece of shit?

Me: [laughing my ass off]

RMP1: Yeah, you are a piece of shit. Jenny’s my bitch. Jenny is my bitch.

Me: Oh my god Dirtbiker.

RMP1: Jenny, I’m gonna make you fuckin’ scream my goddamn name. You’re gonna be like, “OH TWREX ME” and I’m gonna be like, Twrex that fuckin’ bitch.

Me: You have a lot to learn about the real world.

Kamikaze: I am just not having any luck.

RMP1: Hold the FUCK up bitch I am in the real world!

Me: Behind the bulldozer again. Or did he get you?

Dirtbiker: [unintelligible]

Me: Reminds me of that one time we played with that uh, that 12 year old who was like, “You don’t know what warfare is!”

RMP1: [interrupting constantly] Hey. Jenny. JENNY. SHUT THE FUCK UP. Jenny shut the fuck up and put your goddamn lips around my dick. Yeah bitch, that’s your damn job.

Kamikaze: What the fuck, why’d I spawn in front of them?

RMP1: Shut. The fuck up everybody. Okay? I’m wanna have cyber sex with Jenny for a bit. So mute us.

Me: They’re by the big construction building. Uhm… middle.

RMP1: …My fucking erection in your damn ear.

Kamikaze: Wow, I’m sorry guys. I don’t know what the fuck is going on.

RMP1: Hey, I’m gonna put my goddamn toes in your vagina.

Dirtbiker: Well that’s a little gross.


RMP1: It’s not gross, actually. I put my whole fuckin’ foot in someone’s vagina before!

[largely unintelligible as three people talk at once]

RMP1: Hold up bitch, shut the fuck up okay? Put your damn mouth on my dick.

Me: [exasperated] Oh my god.

RMP1: Hey, make that ass fuckin’ clap on my dick. Hey bitch.

Me: I think they’re coming from… yeah, they’re coming from big construction.

RMP1: Hold up, I wanna fuckin’ make it nasty, okay bitch?

Me: He’s in that little wooden shack by the sandbags now.

[RMP1 disconnects from the match at this point]