Dec 6th

I’ve been online gaming for the last five years, and running this website for just over a year. Throughout this time, I’ve encountered everything from the downright hilarious  to the outright disgusting. I’ve had guys tell me I sound like a little boy (and then upon finding out I’m a woman, tell me I “sound hot”), ask me to suck their dick, ask me repeatedly for “pics”, and tell me the only thing I’m good for is my vagina. Someone has also sent me a message telling me they hope I get raped and killed. Over a video game.

I’ve read countless suggestions on how to “solve” the issue of harassment in online gaming, and I’ve run into a lot of people who seem to be angry that I’m posting about it at all. As if this website is just one big complaint, rather than a documentation of my experiences. More than anything I want this website to stand as evidence that there is a problem: Here is the proof. Here are the recordings. I’ve written about this topic before.

I get asked a lot about trash talking, and how the harassment that female gamers face is different than what their male counterparts run into. In a lot of ways, the harassment can overlap, and I’m not trying to say that male gamers never experience unpleasant language and insults. Everyone gets trash talked while gaming, it’s something that happens. But female gamers tend to be attacked specifically because of their gender, told that they are less competent and made to feel that they don’t belong in the gaming community just because they are female. And it’s a really fucking shitty feeling to be told that you’re only playing the game to be “cool”, or because it’s “fashionable”. Dorkly has an exceedingly accurate comic about this.

This has manifested itself for me personally in many ways, from being repeatedly told that I should get back in the kitchen so that I can make them a sandwich, to being questioned about whether I’m actually playing or if it’s really my boyfriend.

But today’s entry kind of takes the cake, because I’ve never been called an ‘it’ before.

RMP = Random Male Player



Me: I have a hard time like carrying a full party like this with my connection.

RMP2: What up, Jenny?


RMP2: Hey guys, just because it’s got tits doesn’t mean it needs to be talked to.

RMP3: It’s name is Jenny.

RMP4: Everything has tits.

RMP1: Well. Jenny been making food for me, so it’s all good.




TWITTER: @NitKA_Official

FACEBOOK: Not in The Kitchen Anymore