LITERALLY, you guys. Literally.
This is such a poor example. First off, gaming is a hobby with a dedicated community. A sorority is an organization with an established community. What hobby or past time are you trying to do in a sorority? If he believes that his comparison is true, then he automatically assumes that females lack any knowledge in gaming. And that’s a ridiculous assumption. Look at you and then at me and nearly every female I’m friends with.
I don’t think females are trying to “tag along.” We are trying to enjoy a hobby. I have never asked for special treatment. However, I agree with him about guys wanting you to prove yourself. And, as you know, I love to trash talk. But I think there is an obvious line between harmless competitive trash talking and hate speech. Which is no fun to experience as a male or a female. I have no desire to mentally or physically castrate men. I love gaming with my guy friends.
Sorry for the long chapter book.
I see someone who has no idea what “literally” means! And it certainly isn’t Jenny… ^^
To address his first point though, or lack thereof, if a lone man walked into a sorority, I highly doubt the girls would be ‘rolling their eyes’ or ‘laughing at him’, unless they’re at his supposedly lame jokes, amirite?? 😉 Seriously though, of course sororities are all different, but I’m going to guess that most of them would not treat a guy like that. If he wants to complain that some women would be all over that lone man, so be it. Many probably would. But we’re not trying to treat groups of people like a few; that’s really the entire purpose of this site.
It’s funny he should mention this, because I play a lot of social games. On those games that are heavily female, generally everyone bends over backwards to help newbie males find their way around (in non sexual ways). caveats being that those males are generally self selecting for their open-mindedness and 2. this is all non scientific and from personal experience only, but I feel that it is at least more than the person above gave.
1. Not unless all of the sorority sisters are exceptionally rude.
2. Enjoying a hobby that you want to enjoy is not tagging along unless you are only there for a specific person. Newsflash: lots of women game because WE LIKE IT, and we’re not doing it for anyone else. And for every woman who only is there because her boyfriend is playing, there’s probably a little boy only online because his big brother is.
3. Gaming isn’t an exclusive club. You are not any more entitled to be there than any other gamer, including women.
4. The “hard time” that women get when gaming with men is usually not the same “hard time” men give each other. Get your head out of your ass. Sexual harassment is not acceptable no matter how you want to dress it up as ordinary trash talk.
5. Referring to women as “females” in the same sentence as you refer to men as men says a LOT about your attitude, asshole.
6. “Mentally castrate?” ahahaha. Tell me more about how asking a person to behave decently is equivalent to removing their masculinity. Or do you want us all to believe that all ~manly men~ are inherently giant jerkfaces?
Just the fact that anyone thinks that comparing gaming to a sorority house is an apt analogy is a big part of the problem, right there. A sorority house is an exclusive group that by definition can only be made up of women. Gaming is not the province of an exclusive group that can only by definition be made up of men.
OK, the guy makes his point badly, but I do understand it.
Yes, the attitude of men towards women in things like games is annoying and wrong. I have a huge problem with “women in the kitchen” jokes, or the ridiculous superiority complex guys seem to have when they start playing. I’ve never understood this, mostly because after all, it’s just a game, and I’m not a huge gamer. I prefer to see the thing I’m shooting at properly. Paintball, for instance, or actual martial arts. This kind of sexism is rare there But I digress.
Guys are dicks, yes. On the other hand, I have been the only male in a cooking course. I’ve been the only guy doing yoga. Both times, I got treated as if I was either just there to pick up women, or it was decided I was gay. After one view was refuted, the other became prevalent.
Another example: I know a guy who happens to be the biggest follower of fashion I have ever met. He’s also 6’6”, heavily bearded, built like a brick shithouse and studying Engineering. He joined a discussion regarding some fashion point or other, I profess no knowledge of this, and was greeted with sneers and derision. His dismissal included the phrase “like YOU would know that” and “like a guy would be interested in fashion. Stop being a creep.” I don’t see the difference between the mistreatment of women in gaming and that of men in situations such as this.
A last point: in my Eskrima group, there are a few women. admittedly men are in the majority, but there are a few ladies there. A new girl showed up once, and when one of my friends there ragged her by saying “come on, hit harder, you hit like a girl” as a joke, she flew off the handle and told him that he was being offensive. To any of the girls there, if someone says that, it’s a case of shrug it off, or fire back. Nobody cares about insults, it’s all in fun. So sometimes, there’s a little bit of a double standard. It’s viewed as fine to tell a guy he punches like a girl, or to tell him “come on, try harder. Your boyfriend can’t fight all your battles.” But to say that to a girl, that would get huuuuuge amounts of criticism.
Please understand that I’m not supporting the ridiculous sexism evident in the transcripts and recordings put up on this site, in fact it is my pleasure to meet such people in the ring, because then I am allowed and encouraged to hit them. I’m just pointing out that it’s not as one-sided as it often gtets made out to be, and I’m saying that I do understand where this guy is coming from, even if he’s picked a bad way to express it.
Aren’t you looking for, like, the opposite of being treated differently? That is what is happening that you’re recording.
And I think that last sentence might have literally mentally castrated me, or something.
“It’s viewed as fine to tell a guy he punches like a girl, or to tell him ‘come on, try harder. Your boyfriend can’t fight all your battles.'”
I assure you, sir, that kind of proud bigotry is most certainly not fine.
Expressing your dislike for something by comparing it to a minority group (or women)? Yeah, that’s not okay.
My apologies. I didn't mean for that to be taken as an insult towards any minority group. In fact, the two guys who rag on us all the most? Dating each other, very happy.I'm not trying to claim that bigotry is ok. I AM saying that when it's clearly meant as a joke, there is the tendency, especially among women, to take it as deeply offensive.I'm sorry if that offends you, I really don't mean it to. However, it is true that most of the women who complain about sexism of this sort have no problem with insulting men in a similar way. I'm not saying you do, I'm saying that an unfortunate amount of the time, it is so.Another point would be that when I gave the example above, I was giving an example of a form of mocking camaraderie, not if dislike. I thought that was clear from the context.As for your first sentence...I'm not sure I understand. I don't appreciate anyone treating anybody with contempt or disdain simply because of gender, creed, or anything else. What I'm recording are instances of, in order:Women treating mean with disdain simply due to a non-typical area of interest, to provide a vice versa counterpoint to the gaming topic)The double standard I have witnessed, with (predominantly women) objecting to something said in a playful manner, as though it were something designed to be offensive.I would also point out that while I'm choosing to assume my own comment was less than clear, it could also be said that you have just exhibited the aforementioned trait, by choosing to take my comment as an indication of bigotry. (once again, please note this is not an attakc in any way, shape or form. I'm just illustrating a point.Again, I'm very firmly against sexism and bigotry in all its forms. None of this is designed to be an attack against anyone, as I'm sure this site is not an attack against men. I'm merely pointing out some facts, based on personal testimony.
In the battle against society’s urge to stomp on anyone who doesn’t want to be squeezed purple by its restrictive gender boxes, using sexism to fight back won’t help. Neither will encouraging “women overly offended by sexism” to be silent.
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