Sep 10th

Phoenix = Friend
RMP = Random Male Player


[Phoenix and I are having a discussion about our friend Dave (aka Spartan) not talking in the lobby]

Phoenix: You’re not speaking.

Me: Who? Dave?

Phoenix: [phone goes off] Unless that’s you texting me.

Me: Mic is broken!

Phoenix: It is.

Me: Is it really?

Phoenix: ‘No mic right now’. ‘No mic right now’.

Me: Awwww.

RMP1: Hello!

Me: …Hello!

RMP2: [heavily accented] Hey, Jenny, you suck my big dick?

Me: [barely suppressed laughter]

Phoenix: That’s the best you’ve come up with?

RMP2: Hey baby- [cuts off as game begins]