User PHATDOG decided he had an issue with me, and things progressed from annoying to a little rapey pretty quickly.
RMP = Random Male Player
PHATDOG = Moron
RMP1: Oh I need to clean this damn fishtank.
PHATDOG: Hey Jenny.
PHATDOG: You on your period or something? Cuz you didn’t do too hot. Being a leader. Of the other bitches that were on your team.
Me: [heavily sarcastic] You are just adorable.
PHATDOG: Jenny Hanoverfist. Eating chicken nuggets.
RMP2: Are you… Are you fat?
PHATDOG: Yeah, are you fat? We were wonderin’.
Me: Keep talking dude. Let it all out. Let all that anger out. It’s okay- we’re here for you, man.
RMP2: I won. Why would I be angry if I won?
PHATDOG: Hey is your- is your middle name… eatin’… And your real last name “Hanoverfist”? Jenny Eatin’ Hanoverfist? [giggles]
RMP3: That’s just… That’s just wrong. Now I feel bad dude. That’s pretty mean.
PHATDOG: What are you, her internet boyfriend?
PHATDOG: Girls like that come on this Xbox for attention. They live for it.
RMP3: Dude, dude- girls can like games just like guys.
PHATDOG: Woah woah woah- girls like Pinterest, bro. She’s either a lesbian or-
[everyone talks at once]
RMP3: My girlfriend games.
PHATDOG: Yeah well your girlfriend’s probably fat and-
I played a game then backed out of the lobby after I got sick of hearing sexist jokes. I then received this message, which is apparently slang for ‘slut’:
To which I responded:
Then he sent me this voice message:
I’ve reported him to Xbox LIVE, but I’d honestly be surprised if they took any action, given that he has apparently had an account for 10 years.
A bit of background on this one:
I joined into a random lobby and played a game. After the game, I received a friend request from xCheetahSpeedx, another player in the same lobby (who hadn’t said a single word to me). The next game started, and as I was playing, I came across a player who was clearly not there (his body was standing in a corner, not moving/shooting/etc.). Turns out it was xCheetahSpeedx! I killed him a few times, then received a message from him. Apparently he stopped mid-game to record and send me this:
After the match he said, “Yo Jenny, listen to that message I sent you!”
I did not end up accepting his friend request.
I received this voice message from player PUREmass101 during a game yesterday.
PUREmass101: You’ve been reported, you dumb fat fucking cunt!
After listening to it, I was really confused, as A) I had no recollection of playing against this PUREmass101 guy, and B) Why the hell would someone report me. So I replayed the game in the Theater, and found out what I did to piss this guy off so much that he apparently rage quit the game and “reported” me for… Whatever.
That’s right. I shot him before he could get his care package.