Phoenix = Friend
RMP = Random Male Player
[explosions as last kill replays]
Phoenix: Aw, damnit.
RMP1: You’re from Missouri?
Me: Good game.
RMP2: From Minnesota. Get it right.
RMP3: Hey Jenny, camp some more goddamnit!
Me: I was running around that entire map, you insufferable moron.
RMP1: You can’t talk shit to Jenny, Jenny is a nice, sweet little girl. **
RMP3: She’s not even little. She probably weighs like, 403 pounds.
RMP4: But she called you an insensible moron.
**No one has ever been more wrong about anything.