Here’s a list of 38 Christmas puns that will make you laugh and give you the warm fuzzies.

The christmas puns one-liner is a list of 38 Christmas jokes.

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Why not make things a bit more cheerful this holiday season with a few Christmas puns?

Puns, jokes, and riddles – whatever you choose to call them – these amusing little words will have your family and friends laughing out loud this holiday season.

While puns are always entertaining, Christmas jokes are particularly amusing at this time of year since everyone is already thinking about the holidays.

For family meals, opening gifts, or playing outdoors in the snow, these Christmas jokes are legendary.

Choose from these amusing jokes, and this year’s Christmas will be even more memorable as you and your family gather around and make each other laugh.


The Top 7 Christmas Puns

Christmas puns - Best christmas puns

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You may be assured in your ability to make people laugh if you choose from this list of Christmas puns. This is the cream of the crop.

The following are the top seven Christmas puns:

1. I’m feeling particularly Santa-mental this Christmas.

I suppose you’re feeling “Santa-Mental” if Santa is on your mind. Maybe you’re “mental” (as in crazy) about Santa and can’t wait for him to get to town.

2. When Santa drives too quickly, what does Rudolph do? Hold on to your hat if you want to save a deer’s life.

This is a hilarious “dad joke” that will either make folks moan or laugh uncontrollably. In any case, it’s a memorable pun that’ll be remembered.

3. What was Santa and Mrs. Clause’s daughter’s name? Christmas is Mary’s name.

Another amusing and smart joke that your relatives and friends will remember. What other name would these parents give their child?

4. Why are vampires unable to bite snowmen? They’re going to suffer frostbite.

If Halloween and Christmas were to meet, you’d end up with something like this. Vampires, on the other hand, are unlikely to attempt to bite Snowmen owing to the absence of blood.

5. What is the most important thing to an alcoholic Santa? His rein-beers, to be precise.

Sure, these amusing Christmas puns aren’t well-thought-out. But, hey, when you’re having a few drinks around the holidays, this joke is perfect.

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courtesy of Unsplash / Ozgu Ozden

6. What do you say to someone who receives a spice set as a gift for Christmas? Best wishes for the holiday season.

It may take a bit for folks to catch on to this one, but once they do… They’ll most likely laugh. Get them a set of spices and tell them this joke for bonus points!

7. Elves are always protecting their ear form. They bring up some valid issues.

Fun fact: “Pointy ears” is a derogatory nickname for elves. They may not like this phrase, but it certainly applies to them. Their ears, after all, are very pointed.

7 hilarious Christmas jokes

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You should try out these hilarious puns if you truly want to make your friends and family laugh out loud.

Here are seven hilarious Christmas puns:

8. On the eve of Christmas, what did Adam say? It’s the eve of Christmas!

Technically, Adam and Eve existed before the birth of Jesus Christ. As a result, the idea of them celebrating Christmas seems absurd. It is, nevertheless, very amusing.

9. What prompted them to invite the turkey to join the band? He was in possession of the drumsticks.

It’s understandable why they invited the turkey to join the band. After all, playing the drums without any drum sticks is difficult.

The North Pool is Santa Claus’ favorite swimming place.

Despite the fact that this isn’t the cleverest joke in the world, it’ll most likely bring a few smiles to people’s faces this Christmas season.

On Christmas Eve, why does Santa Claus walk down the chimney? It suffocates him.

Is it true that Santa Claus enjoys being coated in soot as he descends down the chimney? Perhaps not, but this joke is still amusing.

funny Christmas puns - Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soots him.jpg

through Cottonbro / Pexels

12. What kind of music do elves like to listen to? Wrap.

It’ll definitely take some time for folks to get this joke, so you may have to assist them out a little by miming while you deliver the joke.

13. What do you offer an elf that is depressed? A guide for elves.

This joke has everything. A creative phrasing, a hilarious concept, and a terrific punch line. You will not be disappointed if you use this for almost any Christmas event.

14. What’s the weather like on Christmas Eve? Dear, it’s raining.

If you can get the delivery exactly perfect, this one works wonderfully. You’re sure to get a few chuckles if you space out the phrases “rain” and “deer.”

7 one-liners with Christmas jokes

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One-liners are a wonderful way to spice up your Christmas this year. One of the best things about pun one-liners is how simple and easy they are to remember.

Here are seven one-liners with Christmas puns:

15. From head to mistletoe, I adore you.

Say this one while standing under the mistletoe for bonus points. It’s short and sweet, and you may even get a kiss for it.

Claus-trophobic is a term used to describe someone who is afraid of being enclosed in a small space.

This joke may be set up by stating something like, “I don’t like Santa.” If others inquire why, you may respond, “Because I’m Claustrophobic.”

17. I like candy canes that are in perfect shape.

Oh, no! When you’re munching candy canes, this adorable little one-liner is a wonderful option. Say that with a straight face and wait for your friends and family to figure out what’s going on.

18. Your decorations are fantastic.

If you ever want to congratulate your family on their Christmas tree decorations while also telling a humorous joke, this is a wonderful joke to attempt.

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courtesy of Pexels /

19. Don’t eavesdrop on Santa if you don’t want to get caught!

On Christmas Eve, as everyone is getting ready for bed, this one may be a nice option. You might say this just before everyone goes to bed, since Santa is ready to come.

Noel is the twenty-first letter of the Christmas alphabet.

There is no “L!” Is that clear? Is it clear? But, really, this joke is quite hilarious, and it will at the very least make them grin. In the best-case scenario, they’ll burst out laughing.

21. She has a strong sense of self-worth.

Use this joke while viewing a Christmas film featuring elves for the greatest effects. Then you may say it at the perfect moment to make everyone laugh.

7 hilarious Christmas jokes

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Try these witty Christmas puns on for size if you really want to stimulate your friends’ and family’s brains this Christmas.

Here are seven hilarious Christmas puns:

22. Please give Santa a round of applause.

Perhaps you can make this joke after doing something really wonderful over the holidays, such as cooking a delicious dinner or decorating your own Christmas tree.

23. Our chemis-tree is fantastic.

Perhaps you could tell your loved one this joke while standing right next to the Christmas tree. To add to the impact, give a nod to the tree as you say it.

24. What was the doctor’s reason for telling the father not to consume the Christmas decorations? He didn’t want him to get infected with tinsel-itis.

This joke’s concept is absurd, which is part of what makes it hilarious. Of course, the punchline is also fairly spot-on.

25. What did Santa’s helpers get the name from the English teacher? Clauses with subordinate clauses.

A subordinate clause, in case you didn’t know, is a portion of a sentence that can’t stand alone as a full sentence. To make sense, another clause is required.

Christmas puns one liners - Your decorations look treemendous.jpg

through Jakob Owens / Unsplash

26. During the summer, what does Rudolph do? A pole dancer is a person who dances on a pole

Isn’t it true that Rudolph needs to pay his bills? It’s not his fault that driving Santa’s sleigh is just a part-time job.

27. What is it about Frosty the Snowman that everyone adores? He’s laid-back.

Simple, humorous, and to the point. You can’t go wrong with this question, even if it does make some folks roll their eyes at you.

28. How can you know whether Santa Claus is real? His gifts are always detectable!

Now this is a smart joke. Be the punchline as long as possible for additional impact, and make sure to emphasize the word “presents.”

4 puns for the holidays

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With these brief puns, it’s sometimes better to keep jokes nice and short. After all, your friends and family are likely to be preoccupied with a variety of other activities during Christmas.

Here are four quick Christmas jokes:

29. You’re such a jerk.

This is a wonderful Christmas pun to keep in mind. It’s also a wonderful method to cope with the occasional Christmas quarrel – they’ll be forced to laugh.

30. Have faith in your elf.

This is obviously intended to be a pun on the phrase “believe in yourself.” With this joke, timing is key, so use it when someone is exhibiting low self-esteem.

31. What you did there was icy.

This amusing pun works best when you’re outdoors in the bitter cold. Maybe someone else will crack a joke, and you’ll be able to use this phrase as a follow-up.

I’m a gangsta wrappa, number 32!

When you’re all wrapping gifts together – or, better yet, when someone praises your present-wrapping abilities – this little joke is a great option.

6 crappy Christmas jokes

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Bad puns may be very amusing at times. Do you ever had that experience when a joke is so terrible that it really becomes brilliant? That is the point of these jokes.

Here are six terrible Christmas jokes:

33. What’s the greatest Christmas gift you’ve ever received? You simply can’t beat a broken drum!

Allow for a leisurely clap. This Christmas prank is so terrible that it’s impossible not to chuckle… So it’s really very amusing.

34. Why did Santa end up in prison? An elf was sleighed by him.

Yikes. This one may be a bit too dark for kids, but it might make someone with a twisted sense of humor laugh out loud.

35. When Santa Claus takes a break from delivering gifts, what name does he go by? Pause, Santa Claus!

If you deliver this joke, don’t be shocked if there’s a lengthy, uncomfortable pause. Make it even worse (or funnier) by smiling and nodding as though it’s the best joke ever.

bad christmas puns - What name does Santa Claus use when he takes a rest from delivering presents? Santa Pause!.jpg

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36. Which motorcycle does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson, no less!

This one isn’t as bad as it sounds. Sure, it’s a bit dubious, but at least the attempt is there. Who knows if you say it confidently. Perhaps others will laugh at you.

37. What did Santa hear from the sea? Nothing! It just waved!

A fresh take on an old joke. This is the kind of joke you’d hear in elementary school… and sure, everyone has heard it a million times before in some form or another.

38. What did Santa have to say to the cigarette smoker? Smoking is terrible for my elf, so please don’t do it!

This is another another example of a joke that is “so terrible it’s really funny.”

How to Choose the Best Holiday Puns

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It’s not always easy to come up with the greatest Christmas puns, but by following this simple advice, you can make your jokes much better. Your jokes will have a better chance of making people laugh over the holidays if you follow these suggestions.

How to choose the greatest Christmas puns:

1. It’s All About Timing

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When it comes to pulling out a fresh Christmas pun, it’s critical to do it at the appropriate moment. You may want to reserve a joke about presents until while you’re unwrapping presents, for example.

Perhaps you’ll use your snowman joke while you’re outdoors with your family making a snowman. It’s all about the timing.

2. Select jokes that are appropriate for the whole family.

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Keep in mind that you will most likely be spending Christmas with your family. When it comes to Christmas jokes, make sure you choose ones that your whole family will like.

It’s all too simple to choose jokes that you and your friends find amusing, yet these jokes may be inappropriate for your parents and younger siblings.

3. Have Faith in Your Sense of Humor

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You undoubtedly have a great sense of humor, so choose the ones you believe are the funniest. Remember that confidence is a big element of humor. You can’t go wrong if you tell your jokes with a feeling of self-assurance.

As a jpg or pdf file, you may download and print a list of Christmas Puns.

Here’s a jpg/pdf list of Christmas puns that you can download and print (right-click the picture and choose Save Image As…):

Downloadable and printable jpg/pdf list of Christmas puns

courtesy of Gamertelligence

More clever puns to share or use to start a discussion

If you’re searching for more jokes or clever phrases, go no further than these extra resources. Even if it isn’t Christmas, these puns are sure to bring a smile to your face.

  1. Are you a math whiz? Do you wish there was a way to make this topic more interesting? Then you’ve got to see these math jokes!
  2. There’s nothing creepier than a skeleton. Check out these skeleton jokes to see that skeletons can also be very amusing.
  3. Even though biology class may be difficult at times, there is still space for levity in this field of study. Check out these biology jokes that make you laugh out loud.

Final Thoughts

Now that you’ve been inundated with Christmas puns, it’s time to test out some of them for yourself.

These puns are sure to brighten your Christmas season, no matter where you are spending it.

You’ll make everyone around you chuckle with these Christmas jokes. And who knows what may happen? Perhaps your loved ones have a few Christmas jokes up their sleeves as well.

Whatever the situation may be… Have a wonderful Christmas!

The christmas in july puns is a list of 38 Christmas puns that will make you laugh.

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