This is a list of coffee jokes that will make people laugh. You can share this with your friends and family as well as use it as a conversation starter at work or school.

The coffee jokes one liners is a list of 68 jokes that are related to coffee.

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Do you like coffee? Then you’ll like these hilarious coffee jokes. Combine these jokes with your morning coffee to get your day started on a light note.

Coffee jokes are the only thing better than coffee. There are many ways to make jokes about this caffeine-infused beverage, just as there are numerous methods to create cocktails with it.

So get yourself a cup of coffee, find a comfy spot to relax, and enjoy these coffee puns. We have a latte for them…

Contents

The Top 8 Coffee Jokes

a woman dressed in winter clothes smiling

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Depending on who is drinking it, any cup of coffee may be the greatest. Coffee jokes, on the other hand, are a different story. Anyone will believe these are the greatest coffee jokes out there, regardless of who they are.

The following are the top eight coffee jokes:

1. Who costs more per cup: Starbucks or Victoria Secrets?

For bigger sizes, both charge extra.

Show Your Answer

Answer

I believe it is determined by the size of the cup.

2. What is the best way to train a coffee bean?

I’m not sure why a coffee bean would need to be punished, but there are always a few rotten apples in the group, right?

3. What is a coffee’s most popular spell?

This one is for all the coffee drinkers who also happen to be Harry Potter fans.

4. What is a barista’s favorite gym exercise?

An genuine French press, as any barista will tell you, is a tremendous exercise!

5. How do baristas deal with their least-liked customers?

With such inflated requests, baristas have some strange clients.

Show Your Answer

Answer

You drive me insane with your mocha!

baristas working at a busy cafe

courtesy of Unsplash / Daniel Norris

6. Which speciality coffee is always late?

This holds true for people who consume it. They’re too engrossed in their booze to notice.

Show Your Answer

Answer

A mocha with a hint of chocolate.

7. How do you know when you’ve had your fair share of coffee?

Is it even possible to channel surf without a remote?

Show Your Answer

Answer

Without the control, you can browse the channels quicker.

8. There’s a new term for it: procaffeinating (n).

This is a term that every frequent coffee drinker understands.

Show Your Answer

Answer

The tendency to wait until you’ve had your coffee before starting anything.

10 dad jokes about coffee

An old man and his son laughing

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Some of the worst coffee addicts are undoubtedly parents. Who are we to blame them? Raising children is a difficult job! Even yet, it’s always preferable to see the positive side of things. Like these corny coffee-related dad jokes – they’re funny!

Here are some coffee jokes for dads:

9. What is Henry VIII’s coffee preference?

Both decap and decaf are depressing and unsatisfactory.

10. What should a parent tell his daughter on a daily basis?

He’d only say anything like that if he hadn’t had his coffee yet.

A child being carried by her father

via Kelly Sikkema/Unsplash

11. What is your favorite Beatles song?

Although the Beatles have a lot of excellent songs, this one is undoubtedly the favorite of all the coffee lovers out there.

12. How does divorce compare to a cup of espresso?

It doesn’t get any more accurate than this…

Show Your Answer

Answer

It’s both costly and bitter.

13. What did the coffee have to say about the fact that it was late with its assignment?

Another latte joke… this drink could go on and on.

Show Your Answer

Answer

It’s the best latte I’ve ever had!

14. What is it about Italians that makes them so excellent at brewing coffee?

Maybe it’s simply that they know how to brew a great cup of coffee…

Show Your Answer

Answer

Because they know how to make their own espresso.

15. Can you tell me how Moses makes his coffee?

For those who didn’t understand it, Hebrew is a language that is spoken in Israel.

A woman laying out beans

Chelsey Horne via Pexels

16. How do coffee beans compare to children?

And the youngsters think they’ve got it rough! When compared to the grinding of coffee beans, their penalty is mild.

Show Your Answer

Answer

They’re always grounded!

17. What did the coffee aficionado’s son be named?

Coffee drinkers can’t imagine life without coffee… so much so that they name their children after it.

18. What does a cup of coffee at work become called in technical terms?

Yes, you are correct! During break time, people can’t function without that much-needed fluid.

ten cheesy coffee jokes

Two friends laughing

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We’re not sure what you’ll make of these corny coffee jokes if you thought those dad jokes were corny. They’re so corny that they’ll make you laugh so hard that you’ll spit up your coffee!

Here are some ridiculous coffee jokes:

19. What Kind Of Coffee Did The Titanic Serve?

Even if it’s a bit insensitive, it’s still funny! Just don’t repeat this joke to any Titanic survivors, if there are any remaining.

20. Can A Bad Cup Of Coffee Destroy A Marriage?

It wouldn’t surprise me if a cup of coffee was the catalyst for a divorce. People nowadays are very petty.

Show Your Answer

Answer

One individual believes that is cause for divorce.

A couple being cold at each other

through Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels

21. Why Do Snakes Refuse to Drink Coffee?

Viperactive is a made-up term created just for this joke.

Hyperactivity in snakes is another definition.

Show Your Answer

Answer

They become viperactive as a result of it.

22. What is the favorite morning mantra of a barista?

We’re referring to the process of grinding coffee beans. Please do not misinterpret this joke.

23. What is the name of Al Pacino’s coffee-drinking brother?

People, this isn’t Capitan America.

24. What happened to the rabbit’s coffee habit?

I can’t image how jittery a rabbit would feel after a cup of coffee.

Show Your Answer

Answer

It was excessively jittery as a result.

25. When do mechanics have a cup of coffee?

Is it time for a coffee break? Is it possible to take a regular break? Or is it a vehicle brake? We’ll never know for sure…

Show Your Answer

Answer

When they come to a halt…

A couple drinking together

courtesy of Pexels / Lina Kivaka

26. What makes you think 5-cent espresso is a bad idea?

Coffee that is inexpensive isn’t always as wonderful as it seems.

27. What was with the espresso’s constant checking of his watch?

When you’re a fast coffee drinker, you can’t be late!

Show Your Answer

Answer

Due to the fact that he was pushed for time.

 28. Where do birds go to get a cup of coffee?

This should be a genuine location where people can sit in nests and sip coffee – I’d go there immediately!

ten terrible coffee jokes

A blonde woman drinking from a cup

through Gian Cescon / Unsplash

To be humorous, jokes do not have to be excellent. Sometimes the worst jokes are just as funny as the best. Take a look at these terrible coffee jokes to see what I’m talking about. You will not be dissatisfied.

Here are some of the worst coffee jokes:

29. I like debates as much as I enjoy coffee…

Some individuals, including me, will disagree with any of these choices.

30. A man enters a café and orders a cup of coffee to go…

Yikes! Hopefully, this is the worst of it!

Show Your Answer

Answer

The coffee rises and departs.

A couple ordering from baristas

through Joshua Rodriguez / Unsplash

31. What type of coffee does a fruit cake pair best with?

Fruit cakes are supposed to be cheerful cakes that put you in a good mood, but they have the opposite effect. Fruitcakes aren’t everyone’s favorite dessert…

32. Chocolate, men, and coffee all have something in common.

Regrettably, this is really correct.

Show Your Answer

Answer

They’re all better off now!

33. What is the message on a coffee bean’s Valentine’s Day card?

I believe we should finally put an end to the latte jokes… They’re just about to be exhausted.

Show Your Answer

Answer

I’m sending you a full latte’s worth of love.

34. In her coffee, what type of sugar does Lady Gaga use?

Ooo lala ooo lala ooo lala ooo lala o

Show Your Answer

Answer

Raw raw raw raw raw raw raw raw raw raw raw raw raw raw raw raw raw raw raw raw raw

35. How does a coffee aficionado approach a woman?

…is it even worth it for me to spend my time?

Show Your Answer

Answer

I’ve had a latte in my mind about you.

A couple holding hands on a table

Priscilla Du Preez / Unsplash

36. What was the purpose of the coffee filing a police report?

Oh my goodness! There must be a plethora of these police reports floating around. Something must be done to address this!

Show Your Answer

Answer

Because it had been robbed.

37. What is the difference between a cup of coffee and your own opinion?

Ouch! That was most certainly a joke, not a joke.

Show Your Answer

Answer

I requested a cup of coffee.

38. What is the term for stealing someone’s coffee?

When you take anything from anybody, it’s called mugging! It’s not just about the coffee!

ten witty coffee jokes

A couple laughing together

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Everyone like puns as much as they enjoy jokes. Some people even like puns. You get the best of both worlds with these punny jokes. Who doesn’t like a smart and amusing usage of a term in a joke?

Here are some hilarious coffee jokes:

39. What is the favorite Bob Marley song of coffee?

There’s no difference between a Frappe and a Happy. Coffee time is a pleasant moment for a coffee enthusiast!

Show Your Answer

Answer

Don’t be concerned; be Frappé.

40. What did the barista have to say to the giddy coffee beans?

I’m curious whether they were eager to go into the pot and get reduced to liquid…

Show Your Answer

Answer

Everyone should come to a halt.

A barista making a drink

via Unsplash / how many

Vampires drink what kind of coffee? 41.

Vampires need something to keep them awake and out of their coffins.

42. What kind of coffee enjoys a good race?

They’ll also undoubtedly win the race. There is no quicker way to make coffee!

Show Your Answer

Answer

From an espresso machine, in a flash.

43. What was the gardener’s motivation for saving his coffee grounds?

He clearly intended to create a cup of coffee that people would remember or never forget.

Show Your Answer

Answer

For the sake of sedimentation.

44. What was the specialty of the Fraternity Coffee Shop?

I’m curious as to how that one tastes…

45. What are the names of Russian coffee shops?

This is most likely correct, or at least how they pronounce it.

Two women smiling while drinking from mugs

through RODNAE Productions / Pexels

46. What’s chubby, hairy, and a coffee addict?

Despite the fact that this joke mocks Star Wars’ Jabba the Hut, there is a coffee shop in Dublin with the same name.

47. Why should you avoid talking about coffee in polite company?

There’s no question about that. Don’t speak about the coffee; just drink it!

Show Your Answer

Answer

It may lead to a spirited and passionate discussion.

48. What is a techie’s preferred method of coffee consumption?

Java is a must-have for technologists, just as coffee is for coffee lovers.

What do you name a group of ten coffee jokes?

A woman showing polaroid to a man

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What do you call hilarious jokes that make you want coffee? Jokes about “what do you call” coffee are hilarious. You won’t find any funnier jokes than these!

Here are some examples of what you could call coffee jokes:

49. How do you refer to Jewish baristas, both male and female?

It’s amusing, but it may be insulting to Hebrew speakers.

Show Your Answer

Answer

Shebrews and Hebrews are two different groups of people.

50. What do you call a non-stop brewing Frappuccino?

My favorite kind of coffee is one that stands on its own.

Show Your Answer

Answer

Place your ground coffee on a table.

A barista preparing a drink

Wendy Wei via Pexels

51. How do you refer to a cup of Indian coffee?

Don’t be shocked if you hear it spoken this way by certain Indians. In terms of pronunciation, they’re quite similar.

52. How do you refer to a newborn calf that has lost its head?

It’s sad to think about, but it makes for a wonderful comedy!

53. When you go into a café you’re convinced you’ve been there before, what do you name it?

It’s unlikely that you’re experiencing déjà vu. You’ve almost certainly visited that Cafe, or one similar to it. Every café seems to be the same…

54. How do you refer to it when clients at a café make jokes about their coffee?

This one belongs in the category of corny jokes, since it’s jam-packed with corn!

55. How do you refer to two coffee cups that are placed next to one other?

When you think of two of those cutely made coffee cups sitting next to each other, this one is really quite adorable.

Two mugs with Latte art

through Nathan Dumlao / Unsplash

56. How do you refer to a pair of coffee bullies?

Mean beans, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha That’s a great idea. (I’m being sarcastically ironic.)

57. What do you name a coffee pot that works hard?

And you know they keep grinding for as long as they need to produce all the coffee they need. Coffee isn’t going to magically appear…

58. What is the term for sad coffee?

Unfortunately, this is true. Please don’t serve it to me in a cup!

ten ludicrous coffee jokes

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via Brooke Cagle/Unsplash

We can all agree that all jokes are in some way dumb. Stupidity is almost always amusing. If you’re searching for some really ridiculous jokes, look no further. These jokes will undoubtedly bring out our collective ignorance!

Here are some ridiculous coffee jokes:

59. A guy went to his doctor and told him, “Every time I drink coffee, I feel a searing pain in my right eye,” which the psychiatrist confirmed…

This joke is really very entertaining. The guy with the spoon in his eye is the only thing that is dumb about it!

Show Your Answer

Answer

“Have you attempted to remove the spoon?”

60. What was the name of the caffeine addict’s cats?

Nothing beats a cup of coffee with a dash of cream and sugar. You can see he adores his felines.

A woman petting her two cats

through Tranmautritam / Pexels

61. What Is Black And Always Fails?

Yes, you are correct! Is it really possible to call decaffeinated coffee coffee?

Show Your Answer

Answer

Coffee that has been decaffeinated.

62. Coffee Is Our House’s Silent Victim…

Oh, please, no more mugging jokes! They’re going on in years!

Show Your Answer

Answer

Every day, it is robbed.

63. Why Can’t I Drink a Cup of Coffee?

Coffee is not the same as tea! You can’t simply declare you don’t like it, right? There’s no reason to make a comparison between the two.

Show Your Answer

Answer

Simply said, it’s not my cup of tea.

64. The most heinous of criminals are…

I believe we’ve discussed this previously, but this one is more true in terms of mugging being a crime.

Show Your Answer

Answer

He who mugs the coffee of others.

65. Why did the kangaroo put down his coffee cup?

Nothing can make a kangaroo leap more than a kangaroo. They’re the leap kings!

Show Your Answer

Answer

He became agitated as a result of that.

Kangaroos eating

through Kaique Andrades / Pexels

66. What are the functions of gossiping pots?

Those nosy, snooping gossip pots! They’re terrible!

67. What is the origin of the term “coffee mud”?

We can all agree that this is one of the best jokes on the site.

Show Your Answer

Answer

Because it was only ground a few moments ago.

68. What is the process for making pig jerky?

Hahaha! I believe I’ve made a mistake. This is the greatest coffee joke we’ve seen thus far!

Show Your Answer

Answer

Make some coffee for them.

List of Coffee Jokes that may be downloaded and printed

Here’s a jpg/pdf collection of coffee jokes that you can download and print (right-click the picture and choose Save Image As…):

Downloadable list of jokes

courtesy of Gamertelligence

Coffee Jokes: How to Use Them

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Even if these coffee jokes don’t annoy you, you never know who they may upset. As a result, knowing how and when to utilize coffee jokes is always a smart idea…

Here’s how to make coffee jokes work for you:

1. It’s Crucial to Time

Three friends walking together

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Using jokes at the wrong moment is never a smart idea. When individuals aren’t in a good mood, amusing jokes may come off as irritating or, simply put, unfunny. However, humor may sometimes lighten the atmosphere. Before you utilize these jokes, be sure you know when the moment is appropriate.

2. Look for people that like these jokes.

A woman wearing sunglasses laughing

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Coffee isn’t for everyone. It’s true, as unexpected as it may seem. You don’t have to like coffee to laugh at these jokes, but you must be familiar with the terminology and names used in the industry. As a result, it’s probably better to target these jokes towards coffee enthusiasts, or at the very least people who consume the beverage.

3. Avoid Making Offensive Jokes Around People You Don’t Know

Group of men sitting in cafe

through Ethan Hu / Unsplash

It’s difficult to upset people with jokes about coffee, but you never know what may offend someone. When delivering jokes to strangers, avoid any religious, political, or historical references. This is most likely the safest option!

More Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes to Share or Start a Discussion With

If you like these coffee jokes, there are many more that will make you laugh out loud. Take a look at them for yourself!

  1. You and a buddy enter a pub, and the remainder of the tale becomes one of those walk into a bar jokes. Check them out to see if you can figure out the remainder of the joke.
  2. Do you like to read some of the greatest one-liner jokes? They’re right here with us!
  3. Whoever thought corny dad jokes were just for fathers was wrong. Get cheesy and put on your best dad impersonation!

Final Thoughts

You have to agree, these coffee puns are hilarious and clever. Whether you like coffee or not, you’re certain to have laughed at a couple of these jokes.

Now go out and tell these jokes to coffee drinkers and coffee haters alike! It’s not like you’re giving them real coffee; instead, you’re giving them some hilarious coffee jokes!

The coffee jokes dirty is a list of 68 coffee jokes that will make people laugh.

Related Tags

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